I recently watched a Bharatanatyam based dance theatre work called Maya presented by the very well-known dancing trio Parshwanath Upadhye, Shruti Gopal and Aditya P V. The trio have earned a huge name in the dance arena with sheer hard work and sharp entrepreneurial acumen. They have built an institution full of bright students who love the art form deeply and are invested in the art form with unmatched passion. Punya Dance festival is the festival where they not only celebrate dance, but it is also the coming together of all their students under one roof for two or more days. There is a lot of adulation, there is stardom and there is cheering – and this is not “demanded” by the trio but something that they “command” and have earned through many years of working and investing in their craft and art. When artists are advised to not take any art form full time, it gives me so much hope when I see the example this trio have set. All the three are from humble backgrounds, with no godfathers or Patrons and have stood firm in their professional world through unrelenting zest, commitment and focus.

I for a long time had suffered immensely feeling suffocated and stifled in the arts. I found every performance lacking in any value system or conviction. I found the subjects being dealt with as extremely shallow. As my engagement with the grass roots in queer activism increased, many walls came crumbling down. I understood that my text book understanding of so many “rights” and “wrongs” lacked nuance and Empathy. It all hit me one day when the renowned activist Akkai Padmashali told me, please don’t stop singing classical music! You had the privilege to learn it properly. If you can sing and make people happy, it is a win for all of us in the community. Something in me shifted that day and I truly began to discover the word gratitude (and how I had never practised it). After a lot of contemplation and turmoil I learnt one thing for sure. My engagement with Bharatanatyam had taken a wrong path.

I was projecting everything I was feeling on the artists performing today. I went to see a performance for “what I wanted it to be” rather than watching it for “What it is”! I would see a young dancer who had just discovered their love for dance use perfectly straight lines and frown upon their lack of knowledge of dance history and for employing of a dance technique that was brought into vogue by the oppressor class. While doing so, I did feel angry and lost. This was also rooted in a superiority complex of “being more conscious and aware than the rest”.  I would unknowingly assume that I am the only one resisting the art form, I am the only one who has an insight! I had stopped seeing how every girl or boy coming from smaller towns and cities were fighting battles to learn dance and dwell in it. How many of them were just now gaining access to this world and were doing what they do being hopeless romantics of this artform. Very similar to this scenario where the rich countries in the west abused the planet for centuries and have now suddenly realised the impact of their lifestyle on the planet and very conveniently now lecture Asian and African countries on “how to be environmentally conscious”. How after living a life of complete excess, these countries want to judge populations that only now, have found the access to enjoy a bit of luxury. Dancers growing up in cities, in comfortable homes and support systems, studying under teachers who were popular, dancing in a hundred places up to saturation, now waking up to the politics of art and distancing themselves from dance and judging every other dancer from their “superior” high chairs! This was all equally problematic.

I have to make that art I want. I can’t expect every other artist to make what I want to make and cry hoarse about their choice! I cannot expect a dancer trained in Kalakshetra style for years to dance in the Vazhuvoor or Tanjore style because I like it. I have to watch that dance for what it is and engage with its voice. It is not difficult to do this. It only requires some empathy and humanity. If a company wants to create a piece on sacred verses, I can choose to not watch it, or to watch it with an open mind and see if they have employed artistry in their delineation of that subject even though I feel disconnected from the subject. I can dislike a dancer for crying buckets for Varugalamo or for emplying a truck load of bhakti in a shringara piece. I can dislike it – and that’s it! I can’t expect the dancer to take my feedback and dance the way I think is right – or staying in the delusion that only my way is right! This elitist attitude is dangerous.

Coming back to the Trio, they have successfully garnered a lot of criticism and hatred for their success. Many are simply upset that they have many fans and garner a full house. Are they are not serious artists because they are popular? It is somehow their mistake that they are the dancing stars today? It is absurd to think so. Maya was a sensitive piece – should have the audience clapped less and watched it more silently? – yes!  But is it the fault of the dancers that the audience took a while to settle into the theme? – absolutely not! Artists cannot be held accountable for how their audience react.  A homophobic mother had ranted to me about how the audience in my play laughed at every line of the homophobic mother Character in the play and went on to call me insensitive! I just smiled! When Parshwa enters the stage, even to pick up a displaced ghungroo the audience cheer him because the love him, He can only be grateful for that love and not go on educating the audience on decorum!

Having said all this, let me just say this, Maya was a beautifully conceived and executed piece. It is jarring to use the word beautiful here but, every rasa can invoke something in us and that energy is truly magical. Maya was full of sensitive moments. The silence, the subtle portrayal, the movements, the use pf physical stage coordinates, The use of light and shadow were all brilliant. What stood out to me most was the abhinaya of the trio. Bharatanatyam abhinaya has a unique texture to it. It cannot be over exaggerated nor very subtle. The over subtle and internalised abhinaya can fall flat considering half of the audience are sitting at a very long distance from the performers. It is a very vague blur. The trio have cracked that blur. Aditya was convincing as the powerless, aspiring student and as the powerful, yet powerless Arjuna! Parshwanath is a master of his craft. Humour is his forte and here too his use of humour to highlight the insensitivity of the predator was remarkable. Shruti (to be speaking in genz lingo) Ate! She was powerfully nuanced and commendable in her micro expressions and movements. It was also heartening to see the dancers not step away from the Dance idiom to say the story. They stayed within this idiom but re imagined possibilities with space and design to communicate the story in a better way. The lighting was spectacular and the music (thankfully) stood there as a character. There was no struggle to show personal artistic excellence and the artists played for the sake of storytelling! That added to the impact tremendously.

How many dancers have endured what they have endured and kept quiet? The system really pushes them into silence. Most of them choose sanity over this fight. Survival becomes the key. This trio need not have bothered to throw light on these issues. They can intellectualise twinkle twinkle little star (trust me Parshwa can blow you away with his intelligence) and get away with a roaring success. They have made a conscious decision to be vulnerable here. I know for sure (without knowing for sure) that they are coming to this from lived experience. I am a survivor of a very cruel and violent abuse(s) and I felt it was my story. I have kept silent, spoken vaguely and continue to be very subservient to many abusers. I even today have to sometime work with people and artists I know are abusers because I don’t have the privilege! I have to make a living and pay my bills without an aorta of support. Many a times Its not our place to name and shame unless the victim chooses to do so in public. So we all live like Gandharis! Do we never express then? Yes, I, constantly do it through my art and find my catharsis and will to live. I know that’s exactly what this trio have done too. Found a way to express and let go of the poison that is corroding your soul. There were many moments in the presentation where my heart broke, Where I felt uncomfortable but I also felt seen, heard! I knew that this story is going to be out there and so many younger me’s will now have the vocabulary and examples to express their trauma to their families or peer groups.

Are there other ways of saying this story? Absolutely, yes! Can it be triggering to survivors? Absolutely, yes! Does all that make this production problematic? Absolutely, not! If every artist told the story in one single way, how monotonous would the arts be? What is an individual voice then? My lived experience has to be told by me the way I want to say it!  

Many in the audience did not understand the plot till the very crucial scene arrived! They were hoping that there is a spark of romance and love in there! They still hoped it was something of beauty! Only to gasp and be silent (read uncomfortable) at that moment! This only goes on to show how privileged some audiences are! The thought of abuse does not even strike them and that’s the first thing survivors are worried about or constantly in alert for! The words tradition, Guru Bhakti have been so ingrained in our society that many Gurus get away with everything and anything unscathed! Maya is a conversation, a new conversation, for this audience. No matter how many podcasts, films or books are made on this, a few audiences and dancers will only engage with things only when they see it in dance! That is why, this production is important! It is going to create awareness in many, remove many from denial and make many feel, seen or heard too.

The Trio have been evolving in their artistic journey and this production is definitely a significant growth. Their story telling gives access to many who always were left on the fringe by elite artists and their elite arrogance in the name of art! This trio do not alienate audience, or “other” them. It is like a profound friend who can sit next to you, offer their shoulder to lean on and make you laugh and cry in a safe space. You are moved, you are shaken but you also carry back a lot of beauty with you. Cynics may disagree but inclusive storytelling is the only way we can build bridges. Kudos you three, May your tribe increase!